Growing…

It’s finally spring here in NOVA. 

It’s about 70 degrees, with WAY too much pollen, and a whole lot of sunshine.  I was inside the house yesterday (why?) and started remembering what I had been teaching this week, what was I satisfying myself with?  TV?  Surfing the Web?  It was gorgeous outside, and my God had created it, and all the things inside just got more and more noisy as I understood what I needed to do….

I jumped onto the trunk of my Lexus (and by Lexus I mean 91 Accord) with Bible in hand and just sat for a while…

A long while…

And this thought came into my head, that I just needed some silence.  I started thinking more about this and something interesting began to happen, I realized that it wasn’t silent at all. 

I live in the woods, so there were woodpeckers, hawks, blue jays, squirrels, deer, you name it, all combining for this cacophony of natural noise that absolutely FILLED the space around me. 

I realized that I didn’t necessarily need silence, I just needed all the other voices to stop, to mute, and I needed to hear God. 

Sure it was birds, and fuzzy ADD mammals, but it was the sound of what God had created, doing what it always does, because He sustains it, He drives it, He expresses Himself through it.  It was beautiful.  And in that non-silence I was finally able to hear God so much more clearly than the HOURS that I’ve spent in my house, TV on, computer humming, entertainment dripping from the walls. 

Go find some ‘silence’ and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much God has to say…

So I’m currently going through a season in life where I’m testing out my waking up skills.

That may sound odd to you, but I’m trying to figure out how I best wake up.  The Bible talks about morning and evening a lot, and how they are times that we should be doing this from praying, singing, meditating on scripture, to a whole sort of activities.  The idea is to start the day with God at the center, not just most important or first, but that the day’s activities start out of our relationship with God as a catalyst/standard for the rest of the day to live out of our relationship with God. 

So by ‘testing’ out my waking up skills, I’m trying to figure out what works for me best to wake up intentionally, not by accident or neglect. 

What ways do you wake up?  Any experiences/tendencies/thoughts would be appreciated.

I’m not good at sitting still (per previously revealing posts) and usually have to be doing something…

which can make the weekly “off” day a little more frustrating that it probably should be. 

I usually feel productive (usually) at work during the week.  I like feeling productive, I like feeling like I’m working hard, I like knowing that I’m not wasting time, and usually that’s why I feel so wasteful on my off day.  I feel bad working on my off day, but I feel worse just being…

I feel like if I’m going to get ahead, take the next step, reach the next level, there are no “off” days.  I feel like there’s too much to work on to shut things off…

But God created that whole Sabbath thing, and if God made it, and me, then maybe that’s part of taking the next step.  I don’t know, any counsel (wise, of course) is appreciated.

Blogged with Flock

Right before Jen and I stepped out today, we checked the weather online (like you do when you’re too lazy to actually walk out the front door.) 

“69 degress, sunny”

Awesome, finally some warm weather.  She put on a skirt, I, my flops and a t-shirt, and we walked out into the warm sun…

For all of 30 minutes…

Then these clouds rolled in, the temperature dropped 20 degrees, and we went home.

God is in control, yet again.  And it’s never more obvious to me than in the creation that surrounds us.  I even got a phone call from Brett relaying much the same happening for him (except he was wearing the skirt… j/k)

I was reading in ‘My Utmost for His Highest’ during some downtime a few days ago, and Chambers was talking about using our energies for Jesus.  Not something I’d never heard, but there was a little phrase he added in that was really quite stunning.  He talked about using our moral, mental, and physical energies for Christ and His glory, which I’ve heard before (and am almost numb to hearing again) but the last little addition was the word ‘nervous.’  I have a lot of nervous energy, Jen complains that I just can’t sit still and I always have to be doing something… she’s right, but it had never hit me that those little ‘nervous’ energies that I seem to have and find in such abundance can be and are part of this journey of knowing Christ and hearing from/about Him from our Creator…

It hit me today…

It was warm, then all of the sudden, the wind whipped up, the rain came in, and it was cold again, in time it took to throw down a cup of joe…

And in that nervous little time, God showed me that He is still in control.

Here’s to a little more nervous energy with a little better perspective on how to spend them.

Blogged with Flock

It’s grey outside, and God is emotional… i think…

I was reading Mark 3:20-30 (it’s the part where Jesus is accused of performing miracles out of satan’s power, instead of the Holy Spirit) and Jesus tells everyone that if you blaspheme the Spirit then you’re eternally condemned.  It doesn’t so much intrigue me because I worry about blaspheming the Spirit (which I do) but because it feels like Jesus is reacting in a very protective manner towards the Pharisees.  It’s kind of like He’s saying ‘how dare you!’ (which, coincidently isn’t something you probably want to hear from the Son of God).  It’s this thought that spurred on a chain of thought regarding God’s emotions, and what that means.  Now, I’m not saying that in this particular passage this is what’s going on (not NEAR enough study to really know what’s going on yet…if ever) but we see clearly in scripture that God is love, that God is jealous, that God is angry, that God is pleased.  He’s not a robot, and point of fact, is the originator of emotion, but that scares me. 

Emotions (for me) are a critical weak spot. 

Depending on my emotions, one day’s actions can follow an entirely different path then the next.  If I’m happy, I’m usually more energetic, and thusly I usually accomplish more, make better decisions, and thrive on productivity purpose.  When I’m down (i.e. when it’s grey outside) I’m slow, lethargic, plodding, and prone to reflect on all my failures and shortcomings, believing I’ll always be in this rut no matter how hard I try, but desperately waiting for that trigger to right my ship.  I do things I know (and honestly don’t want) to do, instead of the things I should (see: The Apostle Paul – Romans 7:14-20) 

I don’t want God to be that way and I’m pretty sure He isn’t.  What I want is to be emotional, like my God is emotional…I’m just not sure how…

Blogged with Flock

I’m not sure what’s worse, having your team get dominated in the first half, or having them come back to give you false-hope in the second.  It’s the story of the Redskins year.  I supposedly have to give them a pass, because of all they’ve been through, but how do you do that?  How do you be a good fan?  It makes me think of ‘holy discontent’  Progress is good, but stalling and falling, not so much.  It’s that healthy balance between satisfaction and desire that I’m looking for, alas, with  my precious Redskins, there happens to be more desire than satisfaction today… there’s always next season.