Growing...

Silence

bigchapy — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:27:59 +0000

It’s finally spring here in NOVA.

It’s about 70 degrees, with WAY too much pollen, and a whole lot of sunshine. I was inside the house yesterday (why?) and started remembering what I had been teaching this week, what was I satisfying myself with? TV? Surfing the Web? It was gorgeous outside, and my God had created it, and all the things inside just got more and more noisy as I understood what I needed to do….

I jumped onto the trunk of my Lexus (and by Lexus I mean 91 Accord) with Bible in hand and just sat for a while…

A long while…

And this thought came into my head, that I just needed some silence. I started thinking more about this and something interesting began to happen, I realized that it wasn’t silent at all.

I live in the woods, so there were woodpeckers, hawks, blue jays, squirrels, deer, you name it, all combining for this cacophony of natural noise that absolutely FILLED the space around me.

I realized that I didn’t necessarily need silence, I just needed all the other voices to stop, to mute, and I needed to hear God.

Sure it was birds, and fuzzy ADD mammals, but it was the sound of what God had created, doing what it always does, because He sustains it, He drives it, He expresses Himself through it. It was beautiful. And in that non-silence I was finally able to hear God so much more clearly than the HOURS that I’ve spent in my house, TV on, computer humming, entertainment dripping from the walls.

Go find some ‘silence’ and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much God has to say…

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Waking up…

bigchapy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:40:05 +0000

So I’m currently going through a season in life where I’m testing out my waking up skills.

That may sound odd to you, but I’m trying to figure out how I best wake up. The Bible talks about morning and evening a lot, and how they are times that we should be doing this from praying, singing, meditating on scripture, to a whole sort of activities. The idea is to start the day with God at the center, not just most important or first, but that the day’s activities start out of our relationship with God as a catalyst/standard for the rest of the day to live out of our relationship with God.

So by ‘testing’ out my waking up skills, I’m trying to figure out what works for me best to wake up intentionally, not by accident or neglect.

What ways do you wake up? Any experiences/tendencies/thoughts would be appreciated.

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Love in Leviticus…

bigchapy — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:48:52 +0000

So I had the intense privilege of spending Monday evening with the East Campus Guys of the Sr. High here @ Burke. It was a very refreshing time, both personally and in ministry. Our fearless ECG Leader passed out One Year Bibles for the kids, and of course, he handed one to me (complete with pre-printed sticker with my name for the inside…wow) So, being the good guy I am (?) I awoke early this morning and started my day in February 26th of the One Year Bible. Leviticus. At 6am. Seriously? Anywho, I plunged in decided that somewhere the Bible it says that those who love discipline ‘find life…’

I found a bunch of laws…weird ones…mostly about back sexual relations with family members…

Like I said, weird…

Anyways, Brett has been talking about blessings and cursings (prep for this Sunday @ Burke, be there) and how every time God had conditionals (do this and/or this will happen) he would have an unconditional (there will always be a way of return, of repentance, of redemption) Immediately early morning creepy laws and Leviticus came back…

Why?

Because God is “The LORD your God,” that’s why.

Because everytime one of these funky laws would show a conditional statement (do this, and it’s got not-so-good-consequences) God’s statement to show a way of return, his ‘unconditional’ was one thing…

His name

That’s it, ‘For I am the LORD, your God’ That’s all He felt he needed to say to show what the way of return was, His name, the name of our God and all that it means, was sufficient to undergird all that He commanded and required, it was hope incarnate, in a name…

So, hope in Leviticus, who knew…

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An "off” day…

bigchapy — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:00:54 +0000

I’m not good at sitting still (per previously revealing posts) and usually have to be doing something…

which can make the weekly “off” day a little more frustrating that it probably should be.

I usually feel productive (usually) at work during the week. I like feeling productive, I like feeling like I’m working hard, I like knowing that I’m not wasting time, and usually that’s why I feel so wasteful on my off day. I feel bad working on my off day, but I feel worse just being…

I feel like if I’m going to get ahead, take the next step, reach the next level, there are no “off” days. I feel like there’s too much to work on to shut things off…

But God created that whole Sabbath thing, and if God made it, and me, then maybe that’s part of taking the next step. I don’t know, any counsel (wise, of course) is appreciated.

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How quickly it changes…

bigchapy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:27:34 +0000

Right before Jen and I stepped out today, we checked the weather online (like you do when you’re too lazy to actually walk out the front door.)

“69 degress, sunny”

Awesome, finally some warm weather. She put on a skirt, I, my flops and a t-shirt, and we walked out into the warm sun…

For all of 30 minutes…

Then these clouds rolled in, the temperature dropped 20 degrees, and we went home.

God is in control, yet again. And it’s never more obvious to me than in the creation that surrounds us. I even got a phone call from Brett relaying much the same happening for him (except he was wearing the skirt… j/k)

I was reading in ‘My Utmost for His Highest’ during some downtime a few days ago, and Chambers was talking about using our energies for Jesus. Not something I’d never heard, but there was a little phrase he added in that was really quite stunning. He talked about using our moral, mental, and physical energies for Christ and His glory, which I’ve heard before (and am almost numb to hearing again) but the last little addition was the word ‘nervous.’ I have a lot of nervous energy, Jen complains that I just can’t sit still and I always have to be doing something… she’s right, but it had never hit me that those little ‘nervous’ energies that I seem to have and find in such abundance can be and are part of this journey of knowing Christ and hearing from/about Him from our Creator…

It hit me today…

It was warm, then all of the sudden, the wind whipped up, the rain came in, and it was cold again, in time it took to throw down a cup of joe…

And in that nervous little time, God showed me that He is still in control.

Here’s to a little more nervous energy with a little better perspective on how to spend them.

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Today

bigchapy — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:18:01 +0000

It’s grey outside, and God is emotional… i think…

I was reading Mark 3:20-30 (it’s the part where Jesus is accused of performing miracles out of satan’s power, instead of the Holy Spirit) and Jesus tells everyone that if you blaspheme the Spirit then you’re eternally condemned. It doesn’t so much intrigue me because I worry about blaspheming the Spirit (which I do) but because it feels like Jesus is reacting in a very protective manner towards the Pharisees. It’s kind of like He’s saying ‘how dare you!’ (which, coincidently isn’t something you probably want to hear from the Son of God). It’s this thought that spurred on a chain of thought regarding God’s emotions, and what that means. Now, I’m not saying that in this particular passage this is what’s going on (not NEAR enough study to really know what’s going on yet…if ever) but we see clearly in scripture that God is love, that God is jealous, that God is angry, that God is pleased. He’s not a robot, and point of fact, is the originator of emotion, but that scares me.

Emotions (for me) are a critical weak spot.

Depending on my emotions, one day’s actions can follow an entirely different path then the next. If I’m happy, I’m usually more energetic, and thusly I usually accomplish more, make better decisions, and thrive on productivity purpose. When I’m down (i.e. when it’s grey outside) I’m slow, lethargic, plodding, and prone to reflect on all my failures and shortcomings, believing I’ll always be in this rut no matter how hard I try, but desperately waiting for that trigger to right my ship. I do things I know (and honestly don’t want) to do, instead of the things I should (see: The Apostle Paul – Romans 7:14-20)

I don’t want God to be that way and I’m pretty sure He isn’t. What I want is to be emotional, like my God is emotional…I’m just not sure how…

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Deadskins…

bigchapy — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 03:39:28 +0000

I’m not sure what’s worse, having your team get dominated in the first half, or having them come back to give you false-hope in the second. It’s the story of the Redskins year. I supposedly have to give them a pass, because of all they’ve been through, but how do you do that? How do you be a good fan? It makes me think of ‘holy discontent’ Progress is good, but stalling and falling, not so much. It’s that healthy balance between satisfaction and desire that I’m looking for, alas, with my precious Redskins, there happens to be more desire than satisfaction today… there’s always next season.

Day 2 – Gen. 3:1-4:26; Matt. 2:13-3:6; Psalm 2:1-12; Prov. 1:7-9

bigchapy — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:42:44 +0000

Weirder and weirder (are those real words?) So now a ‘serpent’ shows up (who by the way speaks) and messes with Eve’s head (and Adam’s) and sets a trap that they both fall in. They eat from the tree they weren’t supposed to eat from, and now there in big trouble. First they see that they’re naked and they are immediately ashamed. I wonder why? Adam and Eve were husband and wife right? Right after Eve is created a chapter ago it says that they were both naked and weren’t ashamed. So what happened, now they know they’re naked? It couldn’t have been custom to wear clothes at the time, because it was just the two of them. Maybe it wasn’t so much the physical nature of their nakedness that concerned them, but the shame of what they had done… So now come the dues… It’s going to stink for all parties involved, serpent, women, and men alike. The serpent gets to slither and creep the rest of it’s life, and eat dust…yummy. The women get’s to have pain in childbirth, and the ground is going to frustrate man. Oh yeah, and you’re getting evicted. See ya garden, it’s been fun. How stupid is going against what God has said? Even if we’re not sure of the ‘why’ that God does things, we sure see what the consequences are if we don’t follow. So, since mommy and daddy have set the pattern, the two new kids pick up where they left off and Cain kills his younger brother Abel. Why? Well, really because Cain is pissed with God because God didn’t receive his offering as well as He received Abel’s. So yet again, people have an issue with God, and they deal with it outside of God, and it bites them in the butt. Now it’s Cain that gets kicked out, ain’t this one dysfunctional family? Matthew 2:13-3:6 So Jesus is born, and Joseph takes mom and baby saviour to Nazareth and fulfills a few prophecies on the way. What’s really cool about this is how Joseph and the young family fulfill prophecy without trying to, it really shows just how omniscient God is. Then enter John the Baptist. One locust-eating repentance preacher, his passion is undeniable and well-suited for the task at hand. Are we so lucky to have the same role as John today? That’s it for today, gotta go take some Christmas lights down in the Student wing. I’m thinking maybe this one year resolution is actually better suited as a two year resolution. I’m only on Day 2 and I feel like I’m skipping over so many questions that I’m not sure if it’s worth this plodding. So maybe I’ll go through this year and take down questions as I go, then next year I’ll go back through and seek out some answers. We’ll see.

Day 1 – Gen. 1:1-2:25; Matt. 1:1-2:12; Psalm 1:1-6; Prov. 1:1-6

bigchapy — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 18:51:16 +0000

So, let’s start with ‘Creation.’ Wow, I’m not even sure what’s so amazing, the fact that all God had to do was speak to make it happen, or all the weird little gaps and oddities that strike me every time I read through it. For example, I guess God taught Adam how to speak, or created him already speaking, or took him to ESL or something, because God is the one who calls things ‘Day,’ and ‘Night,’ and so on and so forth, and then Adam gets to name all the animals. Wouldn’t Adam have to have a pretty thorough understanding of language to name ALL those animals? Maybe not, I mean maybe he just kind of mumbled sounds out until he found one he liked, but that seems a little odd and out of character of someone who was made ‘in the image’ of God (a God who had just taken time in naming things of His own and called it ‘good.’) And why did God put the ‘Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil,’ in the garden if it wasn’t good for eating? Now I’m not going down the route that God was tempting Adam & Eve (and not just because the Bible says He doesn’t tempt us) because all the animals don’t seem to have been up for a possible food source and we don’t see God as tempting His first two people with that fact. All in all, I think that my biggest issue with ‘in the beginning,’ is that there wasn’t anybody there but God. Now, theologically there’s nothing wrong with that, in fact, it makes complete sense, but the humanness in me struggles with wondering what really happened since I don’t have a Moses or a David or a Paul who was there and saw it to rely on. Hear that last statement as an observation on a principle that I struggle with continually and not a struggle with the character of God. I think a lot of times I trust what other people like myself have to say about God more than I trust what God has to say about God… chew… On to the beginning of the birth of Christ in Matthew 1. I can honestly say I love the genealogies. I think one of my favorite things about them is the people in there whose names I don’t know, because a lot of people (okay, say in the billions) don’t know my name, but maybe I get to be one of those unknown names in God’s great story. Also, I wonder if Joseph ever felt like a surrogate father, or like a step-father. That would have been hard for me (I’m not saying it was for him, though.) I think I’d feel like a third wheel. Mary was the real mother of Jesus, God was the real Father, and Joseph, well, he was kind of like a step-dad. I know some step-dads, they have a hard enough time with sons who aren’t perfect, let alone being the step-dad to the only one who was, and where are you overstepping your boundaries? Psalm 1:1-6 Absolutely one of my keystones. A lot of it’s because of the imagery. I am enthralled with God’s creation, with nature, with the trees and the seasons and the seas and all that inhabit them. With the way they work together like an enormous symphony telling of who intricate, articulate, and spectacular God is. The idea laid forth in the beginning of the Psalms that the man (i.e. a godly person) who’s foundation is laid up in the Word of God and His instruction is ‘like a tree, planted by flowing waters’ is to me the definition of peace and accomplishment. I long to be unshakable and fruitful, to be a part of the seasons of God. Proverbs 1:1-6 (ish) So I skipped ahead a verse, only because my Bible (ESV) broke up the passage after verse 7. I couldn’t help it though, the first six verses told what the Proverbs were are for (make the wise wiser, young un-dumber, stuff like that) but right at verse seven a bomb gets dropped… ‘The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom‘ Ummm, okay? What kind of fear, because every now and then I get that ‘oh crap, pissing off God is a bad idea,’ feeling. Or sometimes even the ‘man, I’d really prefer Heaven over Hell,’ feeling. But most days I don’t fear at all, I just feel bad about neglecting God for another 24 hours. Do I dare pray that God would help me fear Him more so I could grow in wisdom? I don’t know, that almost sounds like a really bad (or at least dangerous) idea. I’ll keep you posted. So that wraps up Day 1… I already feel like I’m going to come out of this with exponentially more questions that answers, but I hope pray that God will give me the strength to keep asking, and the eyes and ears to keep seeing and hearing Him.

A year-long resolution…

bigchapy — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:14:25 +0000

So I know this isn’t exactly an original idea, but then again, it is for me. This year I’ll read through the entire Bible (attempt #1 for me) and blog as I go. I’m actually pretty excited, I love stories, and this one happens to not only be one of the best, but also one that should be able to keep my attention all year long. I guess we’ll see. Wish me luck!